Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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punchline below punchline above

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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YOU

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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