What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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You all have Aids

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which one is easiest

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Your mom is not fat!

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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