why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Dakota Fanning

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops