Laugh.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops