my wife came out of the kitchen....

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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the bible

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Women can vote? wtf

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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