What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops