What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Woman's Rights

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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You know whats funny Aids

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops