Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Jesus wept.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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