What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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America Votes

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Dick Chaney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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