Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

I went to the store and I fell

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

The Holocaust

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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