What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops