Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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