Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Where are you going Your house

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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