Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops