Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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1+1=2

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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