A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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