What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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NEVER

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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