Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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I walk into a bar...

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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