Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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