Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

I woke up today

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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