Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Vaginal secretions

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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penis?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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