What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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