I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops