What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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time to spruce up!

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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