What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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