I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Okay, after this one then...

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The Big Band Theory

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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woman..parallel parking

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops