There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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