Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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