What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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