Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Women's rights

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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