What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops