Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Shut up

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops