Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Soccer...

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops