How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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feminists.

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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Nick Cannon

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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