Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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