What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops