some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Thats what she said

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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