Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops