Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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