Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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4 hours later.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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pee

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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hi

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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