A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The lion swallowed his pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down

Black people.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops