- Anti Joke

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

a skinny sumo wrestler

Two planes walk into an office building

So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What's a joke? Funny

What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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