A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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pull my finger (farts)

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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