a blind man walks into a wall

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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the bible

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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