How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Knock knock

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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