Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

Women's rights

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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