If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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