An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What is the difference?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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