Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops