Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

whats green and slimy? green slim

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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