Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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