What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLCAN'T BE UNSEENMEANWHILE INOBJECTIFACESCUMBAG STEVESHIT BRIX CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Solve Media Puzzle Challenge Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Extremeadvertisements-com-5cfadf EXTREME ADVERTISING Perfectlytimedphotos-com-b58760 PERFECTLY TIMED PHOTOS Ratemyexgf-com-633509 RATE MY EX GIRLFRIEND Ratemybattlestation-com-7e4d51 RATE MY BATTLESTATION Meanwhile-on-nascar-adc088 MEANWHILE IN Spoiledphotos-1218961875-34918 SPOILED PHOTOS Quotes From Other Sites “Five dollar women... WOO!.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Im you can imagine sharing a waterbed with a baboon drenchd in itching powder On the 70' Lincon TownCar.” via: Clarksonisms “Habanero flavourd knives and forks.” via: Pointless Inventions “the power to sh*t brix at will!.” via: Pointless Super Powers “Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “You think you so slick with all your digs at my small Asian penis, but you didn't think this one through because you are no....” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeAnti-Pickup LineethugtxtPointless InventionsThings You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

I need to start studying.

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...