If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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