Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops