Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops