A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops