What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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