Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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poop

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did you stub your toe?

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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