What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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